Question:

FMIL told me 27 was too young to get married?
My FMIL has been doing everything to put a stop to my fiancee and mines wedding. Today I went over there for lunch, and she told me that she thinks were too young to get married (im 27, he's 28) and that I should feel ashamed that i'm going to be fat in my wedding pictures ( im 5'5 and about 125 pounds) I have had it with her rudeness!! Whats the best way to handle this??

Answers:

A-Best: This is actually your fiance's problem. He should deal with his mother. Explain the situation and ask that he talk to her and let her know that you don't appreciate her meddling or rudeness. He should tell her than unless she will show you the respect you deserve that he will have to sever contact until she decides to change her attitude toward her. If you finance refuses to get involved and come to your aid--run! He's obviously a momma's boy and your life with him will be a living hell.  

A: 27 isnt too young lol. theres kids getting married at 18. besides its you and hims decision not hers. i would tell her either she supports it and if not dont bother showing up if she doesnt support you guys. as far as being fat in the pictures, im 5'4 and was 125. i wasnt fat. 125 is not fat by any means. i would just tell her straight up if she has nothing nice to say then she can just butt out pretty much.  

A: Do what I did with mine if talking doesn't work: Cut out contact. Explain to your fiance what she said and just cut her out. Don't respond to emails, calls nothing.  

A: First tell your fiance what she said. Then go ahead with your wedding plans. Your in good shape. Don't let that witch make you feel otherwise. Good luck.  

A: If you are truly committed to each other, accept that your family will not be supportive. Consider eloping.  

A: Ignore it. Simple as that...to put it bluntly ...SHE is not the BOSS of YOU. and I would have said "At least a fat person can loose weight, a RUDE person is rude forever".  

A: Are you adults? Are you living with them? Do you make your own money? Then cut them loose. Now if your husband to be doesn't take your side and shut his mother down then don't marry him. He will never respect you.  

A: This lady sounds evil! I'm sorry that you're having to deal with that! I would talk to your fiance about how she is treating you and have him sit down and have a talk with her. If she doesn't knock it off after that, then I would go ahead with the wedding and try your best to steer clear of letting her in on the wedding plans. You can be civil, but you certainly don't have to stick around and listen to her rudeness.  

A: That's absurd! I won't tell you home much I weigh, but i'm shorter and I weigh more than you! If you are comfortable the way you are then just forget about her. Also...i'm getting married next year and i'll be 25. i think 27 is a great age to get married. Your FMIL is just realizing that she is losing her son and there is nothing she can do about it. Good luck!  

A: I would talk to your fiance and tell him what she said. Then I would not invite her to the wedding. I can't believe she was so rude as to say you would be fat in your wedding pictures. You only weigh 125lbs. That is not fat at all. Best of luck and don't let her ruin your wedding day!  

A: If 27 is to young she would have a mouthful to say about my granddaughter who is 19. Try asking her how old she was bet it was younger than 27. I know I was 19 and a mom shortly after 20. and I am 67 now. bet she is close to my age and that puts her square in the middle of the 60's when marriage at 17-20 was the norm.  

A: 5-5 and 125 is the gold standard for adult female beauty and has been forever, just so you know. particularily at 27 years young and hot. i cant believe someone could really be this unhinged,, but if she were saying that to me i would just put a half smile on my face and sorta look right thru her, saying, ummhmmm, um hmmmm. to every thing she says. in short, i would just ignore her as if she is a bratty 2 year old, cause she sounds like it. and a secret from me, someone twice your age and just fine with it, sadly she sounds jealous of your youth and beauty and future and promise and happiness. . keep your dignity and show respect and just ignore it.  

A: Kill her with kindness, while sticking up for yourself. Just simply say something like; " Oh (insert evil FMIL name) I know you have your best intentions, but I am very comfortable with getting married at 27. You know the average is only 25 and many get married before that." or "Oh, (insert future husband's name) thinks I look really sexy. He would think I was crazy if I went on a diet"  

A: Stop chumming with the old biddy. Next time, interrupt her and tell her that things will be different with your children. You plan to teach them the manners that her mother never taught her.  

A: This is an enormous red flag, do you want to marry into this family???? It will only get worse instead of better and she is a malicious conniving cvnt. Beware.  

A: WHAT!? She said that? Sounds like Mommy Dearest can stand the thought of her little boy being married but that gives her no right to be rude to you. Why is your hubby to be not defending you to his Mother. I'd be telling him to have a talk with her because you two ARE going to be married and probably will have children in the future and that's no way for a family to be and she needs to get over it.  

A: My mom has similar problems with her MIL. The trick is to remember that she is the crazy one. How do you know that she's crazy and not just rude? You're hardly young to marry, and with a BMI of 21 if anything you're skinny. Talk to your fiance, and let him know that she's harassing you. This isn't just rudeness, and either it is a sign of some mental instability, or she's just trying to drive you away. If your fiance doesn't support you, then perhaps you and he may need to rethink this marriage thing. As has been said - this is as much or more his problem as yours. As for his mom, she is still family, so I don't recommend cutting her off completely. However, not seeing her as often is a great idea - no need to just go for lunch, have an excuse for why you can't. Missing their anniversary, however, isn't quite as good an idea. As for dealing with her at the wedding, abusive relatives are one of the reasons that it can be good that the day is so overly formal. If you're worried about a poisonous speech, cut the parents' speeches from the programme. Stay busy with pictures so that she can't harass you after the wedding. Do a receiving line instead of visiting the tables, and that way she only has 30 seconds to cause trouble. That sort of thing. I've even heard of photographers who give the bride a buzzer if they need to get dragged away from a particularly annoying relative. I normally think that's a silly idea, but there's a place for everything. Perhaps you can arrange with your MC to all of a sudden need your input on something if he/she sees you trapped by your MIL?  

A: Wow... That is terrible. 27 is a great age to get married. By no means is it too young. And since when is 125 pounds fat? It may be fat for an 8 year old but not a full grown 5'5 woman. That's actually on the skinny side. I would completely go against them and say that whether they like it or not the wedding is happening and if they don't approve then they don't need to show up. You are going about everything right. Some people are just mean and you have to ignore what they say and not give into them. I'm am so sorry about your situation. I wish you the best of luck :)  

A: That's ridiculous! By the time I'm 27, we'll be celebrating our 10th anniversary! I wonder what your FMIL would think of that! :) Sounds like you need to just not worry about what she says. If you want to get married, get married! You're not too young, and you're not overweight either. That is a pretty good weight for your height. I'm 5'4" and that's how much I weighed when I got married. I've gained a little since then though. :) Anyway, just tell her you appreciate her concern, but you're happy and ready to get married.  

A: I would correct her, actually in the US, the average age for marriage is 26, so I am older than 50 percent of adults. How old was she when she married? And actually according to the BMI charts my BMI is 20.8, and the healthy weight for my height the BMI is between 18.5-24.9 and what is your bmi? I would even print the BMI chart and show her. And mention that the average sized clothes in the US is a size 14, you must be like what a 4?  

A: If I were you I would make it to where I wasnt around her any more than you absolutlely HAVE to be. Surely she wouldnt have to wonder why, I wouldnt try to have a big fight about it, but if asked I would tell her or her son as politely as I could that I wouldnt want my mood or happiness to be brought down before my wedding. I would think she is entitled to her opinion but I dont agree that she is correct, sounds like she just doesnt want her son to be married. 27 is not all that young to be worried about, and really it isnt up to her anyway, ya know? Sorry that she is puttin a damper on your mood, try not to let her.... just focus on other things that make the 2 of you happy because thats really who its all about. Good Luck to you!